A lot's changed over the last couple days. I packed up my apartment at Tenwek, traveled to Nairobi and checked a few last minute things off the bucket list, headed to the airport to begin the journey back to America, had a nice long layover in Brussels, and now I'm about to begin a week of celebration for the wedding of two fabulous friends. Let's just say there's been more than a few tears shed about all of this change. Am I thrilled to be coming home? Absolutely. Am I am devastated that I had to leave the family that I had made at Tenwek? You better believe it.
Everyone kept asking me, "How are you feeling about leaving?" And my response was the same every time, "Completely mixed emotions." I wanted to be able to give them a straight answer but that's the truth, I was completely overwhelmed but yet astoundingly at peace at the same time.
Tenwek was my lovely, empowering, challenging and hospitable home for the last 11 months, but that's just it. It was for 11 months and now I'm back in America starting the next chapter whether I want to or not. There's a lot of unknowns and even more unanswered questions about what this year meant and how it's supposed to impact my future but here's something I know to be true - this year changed my life, my perspective, my priorities, and my faith. How and to what extent those things were changed, only time will tell, but I find comfort in the knowledge that God's got it under control.
On various Sunday mornings in church at Tenwek we would sing the hymn, "Trust and Obey." And a few lines of the hymn go like this:
Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay:
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
This was the anthem of my year. Trust and obey the commands and promises of Christ, and he will richly repay our grief and loss. Let it go (unintentional Frozen reference), but for real - control is overrated.
I'm incredibly sad that my season of life at Tenwek has come to a close, but the friends and memories I made far outshine the sorrow I feel. A great friend of mine wrote me a sweet farewell card (that I packed in my checked bag so I don't have the exact wording but...) on the back it had a proverb to the effect of, "We would not have memories without goodbyes." I love this.
God's timing is far greater than ours, and although my time felt cut short at Tenwek, it was so so full. Full of life. Full of love. Full of grace and mercy I had never experienced before.
Also, you would never believe this but I just saw a Maasai warrior walking through the Washington Dulles airport. What!? Habari yako, friend!
|| This is a new nation, based on a mighty continent of boundless possibilities. - Theodore Roosevelt ||
